it's frustrating having little to no down time, and little to no life.

it's all severely unbalanced.

shouldn't satisfaction come first?

Titled title

If I were the type to be melodramatic, I'd say my feelings had gone stagnant. I'd say that in mastering being careless to a new extreme, I'd lost all interest in things formerly favored. I'd say that in a flailing attempt to let go of dead weight, I'd managed to untie only the ones I needed; keeping those useless and irrelevant still tightly bound to my wrists, my ankles, my neck.

Good thing however, that I am not a fan of the overly expressive.

On a not so side-note: Leave things that have passed alone.

Do not put forth effort to change them, forget them, accept or forgive them. While the now is infinite, it is ever pouring into the then; an expansion beyond your control. To try and live amongst that expansion, is only a willing loss of self and it'd be a real shame to miss out on what's happening because you're dwelling on what's happened.

On an actual side-note:

"It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet." -Franz Kafka

and some pretty pictures courtesy Lina Scheynius.

Collage No. 1

Colour Colour Colour

I started this last night, and finished it this morning. I decided not to use an eraser, and instead drew everything straight with colored pencil and permanent marker. Both of which I'm new to...the eraser is a dear friend of mine (especially when dealing with the human face), and color...well, we usually just avoid each other to spare disappointment. Still, I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and am pretty satisfied with what came of it.

I was made to love magic

First draft, so to speak.

Turns out the design formed the shape of a heart, annd while that wasn't my intention, I don't mind it. Feedback is always appreciated.

i like my body when it is with your

i like my body when it is with your

body. It is so quite a new thing.

Muscles better and nerves more.

i like your body. i like what it does,

i like its hows. i like to feel the spine

of your body and its bones, and the trembling

-firm-smooth ness and which i will

again and again and again

kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,

i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz

of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes

over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

-e.e. cummings

Something nice for wednesday.

Also, expect a shirt design soon, ideas are in the works.

"It's not where you take things from—it's where you take them to."

http://dropular.net/content/_fixed/qt6xym9zj2_EatenByABear_SleepingBag.jpg

Good quotes and bear sleeping bags. Doesn't get much better than this.

Oh shit

So I definitely just found my old cd player and seventh grade mix cds.  A lot of Big Pun, The Fugees, Jay-Z in the Blueprint era (let me just say that the Blueprint 2: The Gift & The Curse stands as one of if not the best shit he's ever come out with), Biggie, Black Sheep, Bone Thugs, Tupac, De La Soul, Method Man, old Busta Rhymes, topped off with some Common, Erykah Badu, and No Doubt. 

Finding this by far, made my day.

Side note: It's crazy how now people are thrown when I can hold up my end of a hip-hop conversation, or recite a few verses of certain songs, when it comes second nature because at one point it's all I knew.  I suppose though, a lot of things work that way and it's human nature to pass judgement.  Still, if you only look down a hole in the ground, there's no way of telling where it goes.  To guess, is cheating yourself of a truth that may be worth while.

There are things I may end up changing about this, but until then, here it is for your viewing pleasure. 

Untitled.

Side note: Click on the picture, since the layout of the blog cuts it off a bit. Also, feedback is always appreciated. 

Goodnight!

Dreamy McDreamerson

So, last night (in my sleep mind you) I fell into the inevitable occult that is Robert Pattinson.  While I am proudly uninterested in Twilight, I'm guessing my subconscious could only fend off his beauty for so long...what with his face being plastered everywhere, and life size cutouts roaming the city, it was inevitable and I am surely just a victim of the craze, taken captive against my will.  Anyway, it was a strange dream and I'd rather give you choppy points of it, then run down everything.

- Initially, I had a few points listed then after re-reading them, noticed it didn't do the dream justice. 

- So instead, I've taken them out, replaced them with this, and you can think I dreamt whatever you feel like thinking I dreamt.

- Kind of a cop-out on my part being the 'blogger' and you the 'reader', but fuck, life's tough. Anyway, by the time I was listing I'd forgot most of the dream, and thats just a real shame.

Either way, it may not have been much, but for one dream day it was pretty eventful (and not far off from my better real-life moments). End point: I had a good dream last night and woke up pretty bubbly.  Now I must go pack for a beach weekend. 

Ft Myers beach, be ready.

Side Note: Regina Spektor's new cd has let me down. I was fooled by the singles, heard the cd, and think it's safe to say that the gospel should be left to the choir.  Too much of the same shit man, where'd the umph go? This disappointment is It's Blitz! all over again. 

why aren't you mine? they don't love you like I love you!

Side note: How could abc family taint the sanctity of "10 things I Hate About You" with a series featuring shitty teenage actors? Death to the spin-offs. Death death death!

blahblahblah

I only recently realized how much i miss listing, and even more, how long it's been since i've sat down and listed: too long. so here you go!

- I want a camera friend. No I do not need you to speak, just snap my photo. It may even be better if we don't acquaint ourselves with names, there'd be a risk of attachment if we did.

- As of today, my nails are lacquered in black nail polish. A year ago I would have put "\m/" at the end of that sentence because I thought it was funny, too bad my awkward sense of humor is diminishing and now I'm mostly just a bitch.

- On July 28th I will see this live and I cannot express my excitement. Holy shit it is going to be so great, I know it.

that is all for now.

finished painting this today. acrylic. the start of a series. that is all.

Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT

Life update: If I'm lucky enough, my parents will move out of state soon (to a city), I'll start and finish sophomore year, then leave florida. Till then I'll be getting my fingers crossed surgically so they're sure not to move out of place. 

Side note: My birthday is tomorrow, and I'll be spending it at the happiest place on earth, for free. I simply can. not. wait.

Laehcim!

(on his love of awkward silences): Yeah, that's my favorite thing. I always kind of end up in situations where I don't know too many people, and I'm not very social, and I feel, you know, extremely uncomfortable. But there's some secret pleasure I take in things like that, in things going horribly wrong.

marry me

free falling

Black hole

I'm not as good at keeping up with this as I thought I'd be.  Really though, it's my lack of worthy posts, nothing seems interesting enough to share.  Having said that much, I decided I would try babbling a bit, maybe this way I'll come up with at least one paragraph of slight merit.  Being home is getting old; and quickly at that.  It's always one big painfully obvious cycle of bull shit.  And when I say bull shit, I am using it as a kind of analogy. A bull's shit is to my life as this summer is.  Inconsequential.  There are good times, but there always are.  The point is if I took everything I've done in the past month or so, and deleted it all from ever having existed, nothing would happen.  I do have some new art, but what is that doing for me? Zilch.

Time to look for a job.

No, literally. I am leaving to look for one r i i i g h t . . .

now.

Nesvarbu

There are times I wish I understood other languages, but there's a kind of mystic beauty in not knowing. Interpreting without preconceptions is nice, why ruin it with fact? 

Today, somewhere between listening to Alina Orlova and Coeur de Pirate, my heart nearly exploded (in a good way).

Platonic, shmatonic.

When friendship loses it's innocence, it's as if everything dims a shade paler.  I've really no clue as to when a platonic relationship became an idea and not something that existed; ie: today I realized I don't have male friends.  There are the friendships that are only held together by time, the friendships in which there's a pursuit, and the friendships where time and pursuit aren't factors at all, where there's only a cheap kind of escapade that exists solely because of a lack of anything else to do.  I want you around, I do not, however, want your dick. 

Side-note: Hello new blog!