i had the power

I hadn't up until that point and I suppose it tripped me up.

The same way people win a chunk of change at the casino and think they're invincible, then squander all they've gained plus some in an attempt to out do themselves.

I though, had been kidding myself; losing sight of the smoke and mirrors. or maybe not so much losing sight as it was assured they'd gone. Either way, this made any subsequently assumed control no more than faux power. faux pas.

There'd actually been a few moments that made me think staying here would be nice, that there were things to gain and I don't mean that at all materialistically.

But i can't do it.

While truthfully there are things worth seeing through, it only ever takes the smallest of instances to remind you why you've already made a choice.

The curtains are nice and the breeze blows them beautifully.

But the house is empty and there are gaping holes in the walls, something you'd never notice if you're only ever looking out the window letting the sun, the breeze, the weightless fabric, kiss your skin.

got my grip back.

the balcony sessions

an accumulation of little things I write when I'm sitting out on my balcony, befittingly titled 'the balcony sessions', gufaw gufaw.

(haha, lol, and every extension of, are pouring out through my ears so it was time for a change. welcome: gufaw!)

April 14

everything lasts as long as it can.

as long as

it's meant to.

even the most miniscule,

marked by the swinging of the blinds.

away, back again,

slowed.

stopped.

and then a breeze;

recommence.

Sleep soundly now, dearest. The people have gone.

Toes

sticking.

Curling

sheets.

Skin spilled secrets.

A

Misinterpretation coddling

Misinformation.

Missed-information,

sweating through walls by

the hand of a searing son.

A

misanthrope(ist) reeled back in,

screaming 'Eat me whole or;

leave me be."

But it'd been by an

Un-

governable hand

(not will)

that damage had been done.

Reflection Reflectshun

That night the skies were set on

fire.

The image being

reflected

made ambiguous by the flames.

Reflect(shunned).

Stunned,

all of you stood.

All of you stand.

Weary, searching,

wound.

Up.

You can't prove a thing.

To beguile.

What a great word. By definition:

1. To charm and enchant someone (sometimes deceitfully, but not necessarily).

2. To trick

3. To pass time pleasantly.

Not many words can mean two things usually only coupled together by irony (or misfortune), and then to top it off, have a third meaning that can describe the two prior;

whether one is charming or tricking another, they are choosing to spend their time this way and thus passing it pleasantly.

Perfect.

haut mature morrissey couture

ah [miss.ms.mrs.] westwood, always so fierce.

xo